Hi, I’m Nina. I’m a girlfriend, a daughter, a sister/sister-in-Law, an aunty, and a friend. I am a woman, a writer/blogger, an Australian, a cat slave, and a Fremantle Dockers supporter. Amongst other things.
I am also…a Disabled Person.
This admission will no doubt make some readers clutch their pearls in horror. “No!” they’ll think (possibly imagining themselves hugging me reassuringly). “You’re a person with a disability. Remember, you’re a person first.” They may even feel so strongly about it, that they are compelled to tell me this directly. Now, I’m sure this is well-meant, but the fact is, if I need to constantly remind certain folks that I am human, those individuals are probably not people I want to be speaking with anyway.
For anyone who is confused, these days there are two preferred ways to refer to someone who is disabled like me, (apart from awesome, that is). These are known as Person-First Language (person with a disability), and Identity-First Language (disabled person).
Both are equally valid, and it is completely up to the disabled person in question to use the one that works for them. Or to use something entirely different, or even nothing at all, if they prefer. Further, nobody has the right to correct them. Ever! If you are unsure how a disabled person identifies, (and it is necessary to know), ask them.
As you might already have gathered, my personal preference is identity-first, but Nina is also fine. Of course, there are worse things you could call me than a human (like a Collingwood supporter, for example), but I do feel strongly about this issue.
You see, as a child growing up in the eighties and nineties, I worked out pretty early that I was perhaps not “normal.” Not sure what tipped me off though, maybe my Nonna constantly trying to rid me of the evil eye might have had something to do with it? Indeed, in my extended circle at least, the ‘D’ word was NEVER uttered (or else!), and ‘those people’ were openly mocked or feared. This, and the fact that I had no disabled role models to show me otherwise, left me very confused. If I wasn’t ‘normal,’ and I couldn’t be one of ‘them,’ what was I?
It makes me sad to remember all the opportunities I had to make my life easier, which I refused to accept at the time, for fear of embarrassment as a result. Especially as some still have consequences for me today.
I’m perplexed that despite there now being many amazing disabled role models around (although we can always use more), the word ‘disability’ still has such a negative connotation, which is why some people choose not to embrace it as part of their identity.
For me though, finally coming out as disabled and embracing it as a major part of my identity has been a predominately positive experience, which has opened a surprising number of doors.
Plus, calling myself a disabled person now, makes me feel like a rebel. A rebel, WITH a cause!
Nina writes her own blog Inner Musings of a Funny Looking Kid. She doesn’t receive any supports from Activ Foundation but has jumped on board with Activ to share her first-hand experiences of living with a disability and educate the public through her witty musings.